Monday, February 26, 2007

ball rolling...

I'm on the eve of some big changes in my life. The ball has started rolling on some things that will forever alter the path that my life is headed on. It's a scary and exciting time to be in. The ball that has been started could potentially lead to some pretty amazing things happening in my life and could offer me a lot of opportunity to pursue the desires of my heart. But at the same time, it's not a for sure thing. It all depends on me, and the people that are involved. God has truly blessed me with an amazing thing, I just hope that we continue to be faithful as we enter this adventure. So I look towards the future and wonder, wonder what the next day holds and if this is where I am supposed to be and what I am supposed to be doing. Should I have made different choices and surrounded myself with different people? Or is this the group of people I need to be with, and have I made the right choices? I guess those questions will be answered tomorrow and the next.

On a different note, I have been sick and it's no fun. Just completely shuts me down and I don't wanna do anything. I have also met a new friend that I am enjoying so much. I look forward to whatever is in store with her!


Sunday, February 18, 2007


it's 51 degrees outside right now. yesterday it was 26. a slight improvement. i think i am going to go out and ride my bike.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007


I really want to be in the mountains. I have such a desire to live where i can always know what direction west is because of some big old mountains are ever present. I want to wake up, and when I step outside to start my day, there is a mountain to greet me. I think I need that kind of landscape in my life. I think I feel more at home there then I do anywhere else. Springfield is a good place to grow up. But I need to stretch my wings a bit more and experience something new. Experience a new culture, a new landscape, a new world. Hopefully I can do that soon. Hopefully God brings something like that into my life. We'll see.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007


this game is so addictive. my top score is 4181. go ahead, try and beat me.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

wilie was...

I am finding myself on
Here are the results.

Willie was also a heck of a baseball player
Willie was found on the beach, bedraggled and barely alive
Willie was more like his dad than older brother Robert
Willie was the first sound cartoon to attract widespread notice
Willie was home to many musicians who entered the realm of Willidom
Willie was raised by his grandparents and handful of aunts
Willie was arrested for marijuana possession
Willie was not psychotic, but he was certainly dangerous
Willie was easy to please
Willie was restricted to playing home ...
Willie was the man that discovered Frank
Willie was hooked on the blues and the attraction to the music persuaded him to ...

hope all is well!


Sometimes I get into these moods, this place where I get really really down on myself, where I look at my life and feel very unfulfilled. Random things set it off, from something as silly as a comment some one makes or when I look at my financial situation. I get so down on myself and it drives me nuts. I have no reason to. I have a roof over my head, I get enough to eat, I am staying warm, the band is rocking, but I still have this feeling of lack in my life. A confusion as to where I need to be and what I need to be doing. My unfulfillment doesn't come from the lack of things in my life, like a house or a nice car or a big bank account. But I think it stems from the lack of self-fulfillment. The lack of knowing who I am and what excites me. I seem to have lost my dreams, lost what gets me up in the morning ready to be a part of and what keeps me up at night cause I am to wired about it to fall asleep. As a kid I wanted to be a lego designer, or a marine biologist, but I'm neither of those. Why? Why did I give up on that? What turned me down the path of life that I am headed on right now? Life throws you twists and turns that you do not expect and changes happen in your life that sometimes interfere with your dreams and they get lost. I went through college with the mindset of getting my undergrad and then pursuing seminary to become a youth pastor. I didn't get to seminary, but I did the youth pastor thing but it didn't work out. So whats next? Where do I turn? What is my next move? I just seem to be floating in life, the wind blowing me from one thing to the next, with no real plan or foundation to my world. I want something solid to rest on, a measuring line for my life, something like a career, or a sense of who I am. I want to belong to something larger then myself. My faith is that, but I feel very disconnected from that as well. It's been a terribly long season of drought in my relationship with Christ. I used to feel very connected and had a good sense of where God was leading my life. But because of some major things that have happened in my life, I feel very far away. I don't doubt my faith or deny God's presence in my life. I just don't see an active presence, and I don't hear him in my life. I know that's my problem and not his. But it just stinks. So I sit here typing this just confused, wondering what's next and waiting.


check this thing out

The Annoy-a-tron generates a short (but very annoying, hence the name) beep every few minutes. Your unsuspecting target will have a hard time 'timing' the location of the sound because the beeps will vary in intervals ranging from 2 to 8 minutes. The 2kHz sound is generically annoying enough, but if you really really want to aggravate somebody, select the 12 kHz sound. Trust us. The higher frequency and slight 'electronic noise' built into that soundbyte will make a full-grown Admin wonder where his packets are.

Sunday, February 04, 2007


we are getting an offer. it's pretty crazy. more to come later.